Are you a giver or a taker? Could a friend call you in crisis at 3 a.m.? Are your friends meant to entertain you or do they add meaning to your life? Do you share each others' joys or are you in competition?
Martin Seligman, author of "Flourish", defines the elements of well-being. One element that resonates with me is Positive Relationships. Seligman states, "...we scientists have found that doing a kindness produces the single most reliable momentary increase in well-being of any exercise we have tested."
Takers may enjoy more immediate self-gratification but it's the givers who have increased well-being. I'm going to take Seligman's advice and strive towards enjoying positive emotion, engaging with people I care about, having meaning in my life, achieving my work goals (accomplishment) and maintaining good relationships. These are the five elements of his well-being theory.
I'll try calling at 3 am to test you! I'm sure you'll have a momentary increase in well-being :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the insightful comment. Positive thoughts, positive thoughts, positive thoughts... I'm up as the neighbourhood dogs' are barking haha
ReplyDeleteI too love Seligman's work! As a heart attack survivor, I quote him frequently on my blog and in my presentations to women about heart health; I especially like his excellent book 'Learned Optimism'. Do you know it? Particularly useful on the subect of "ruminating" - which in my experience, many heart patients are very good at doing!
ReplyDeleteSeligman has described himself as a "natural-born pessimist" - so his wisdom is based not only on academic study but on his own hard-won progress towards positive thinking.
regards,
C.
Carolyn, I don't know "Learned Optimism" but sounds like a good read. Thanks for your comments.
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